When it comes to having a large disparity of age in sexual and romantic relationships, it has been a relatively common occurrence in many societies and cultures throughout time. However, the most common pattern seems to be with the older man and the younger woman, and in many countries, the older woman and younger man scenario has begun to rise. In rare cases, age disparity can be seen as a dysfunction of some kind, a paraphernalia. If these kinds of relationships are explored exclusively, then often experts will designate it as a kind of disorder.

There are some very common reasons for looking to a much younger or older person with whom to engage in an intimate way, and these reasons for doing so can vary quite a bit. A common understanding, however, might relate to the notion that younger mates can fulfil the concept of a trophy wife, or perhaps an object that displays status, even though older mates are understood to have greater wealth and resources, sexual knowledge, or even wisdom.

Moreover, culture may play an active role when it comes to age-gap relationships, as certain cultures that once provided dowries may have actually helped to increase the age of the groom in question in relation to the wife. Certain countries and cultures that require compulsory service from just one sex without the other may even have a larger disparity in age. In addition, there are certain religious requirements that have within them rules about marrying older women and widows, and in some cases, the female in marriage will be quite a bit older than the male inside the marriage.

Many societies in which divorce might be more acceptable often deal with age disparity between individuals as a kind of re-assortment after divorce. By having access to monetary support from a previous marriage, this will allow certain mates to choose on the basis of compatibility and attraction—not for monetary reasons alone. Or in some cases, women may actually marry their mate of choice because of a parental foundation of support; often a woman may choose to be with a younger man because she is not relying on him for monetary purposes.

What’s one of the first things you look at when you check out pictures of potential dates? Eyes? Smile? Hair? Today’s advice is to think about those features when you’re posting your own photograph and spruce them up to the best of your ability before getting in front of a camera.

Generally, there isn’t much you can do about the first two, except perhaps a little extra eye makeup (for the ladies) and a touch of tooth-whitener (unless you wear dentures). Your hair, on the other hand, lends itself to endless possibilities for improvement, whether you’re a man or a woman. Let’s start with the male contingent.

Color. When you reach our age, the chances are better than even that you’re going gray to a greater or lesser degree. If you’re like most of us, the first gray hair will be hastily plucked out and discarded; it was just a mistake, wasn’t it? But when they start appearing in greater numbers and become impossible to ignore, we are faced with a choice: let them be or sneak into a salon for a dye job?

Historically, women were far more likely to cover their gray hair than men, but more and more men are opting for a return to youth via the dye bottle as new products made specifically for them appear on the market, making men’s hair dye more acceptable in a world of in-your-face machismo. Personally, I prefer the “touch of gray” look, with just a hint of silver in the sideburns and temple areas, but there’s nothing wrong in dying one’s entire head, as long as you still have enough hair to color. On the other hand, if you do have a full head of thick hair, consider letting it go entirely white. The “silver fox” look is surely one of the most attractive of all male styles, as most women can attest.

If your hairline is receding, you also have choices. Again, you can just let it do its own thing, or seek help. I can neither confirm nor deny the efficacy of such products as Rogaine and other substances that claim to restore hair growth, but I have heard that some do work for some men. My advice would be to ask someone who has tried it or discuss it with a physician (preferably a bald one) before investing in a supply. There are also implants (plugs) which are both expensive and painful, the fooling-nobody comb-over, and the ever-popular (but seldom flattering) toupee to consider.

However your noggin looks in your photo, for heaven’s sake, don’t change it when meeting someone. Confusion should never be part of that important first date.