Dating again at age 57 is quite a lot different than when I was a teenager.  In my teen years there were the issues of coming to meet my parents, what time I would have to be home, then letting people know where we would be going, and who we would be with. It was a given that the boy would pay for all of our entertainment.  As adults, the new choices include will he pick me up or should we meet somewhere, and just who is going to pay for what.

Here are some of the things I found that work for me.

If I have a first date with someone who is not very well known to me, I take my own car and meet the gentleman at a place that is near my home. I also let a friend know where I am going and when she can expect a call from me saying I am back home. I have never had a problem, but it does make me feel better to know my friend will call to check up on me if I don’t call her when I say I will.

If my date is already someone I have known for awhile, or an acquaintance of a close friend or relative of mine, I do prefer to be picked up at home. Perhaps this is considered old-fashioned, but I think the men like it, too. The simple courtesies of opening the car door and doing the driving seems to help them feel more at ease.

If a man has invited me out for a meal or a drink, we both seem to expect that he will pay for it. Most men of my generation don’t seem to be comfortable with me taking out my wallet. If we continue dating though, I will often ask “Can I take care of the tip?” or “Can I help with the check?” The answer is usually “No, thanks. I’ve got it covered.” However, I do believe that the man appreciates being asked.

A good relationship is never one sided though, so to reciprocate, I will invite him to dinner at home, prepare a picnic lunch or get tickets to an event and say “I have tickets to the symphony on the ninth. Would you like to join me?”

Dating now is a little different than when I was a teenager, but it’s still fun!

What’s one of the first things you look at when you check out pictures of potential dates? Eyes? Smile? Hair? Today’s advice is to think about those features when you’re posting your own photograph and spruce them up to the best of your ability before getting in front of a camera.

Generally, there isn’t much you can do about the first two, except perhaps a little extra eye makeup (for the ladies) and a touch of tooth-whitener (unless you wear dentures). Your hair, on the other hand, lends itself to endless possibilities for improvement, whether you’re a man or a woman. Let’s start with the male contingent.

Color. When you reach our age, the chances are better than even that you’re going gray to a greater or lesser degree. If you’re like most of us, the first gray hair will be hastily plucked out and discarded; it was just a mistake, wasn’t it? But when they start appearing in greater numbers and become impossible to ignore, we are faced with a choice: let them be or sneak into a salon for a dye job?

Historically, women were far more likely to cover their gray hair than men, but more and more men are opting for a return to youth via the dye bottle as new products made specifically for them appear on the market, making men’s hair dye more acceptable in a world of in-your-face machismo. Personally, I prefer the “touch of gray” look, with just a hint of silver in the sideburns and temple areas, but there’s nothing wrong in dying one’s entire head, as long as you still have enough hair to color. On the other hand, if you do have a full head of thick hair, consider letting it go entirely white. The “silver fox” look is surely one of the most attractive of all male styles, as most women can attest.

If your hairline is receding, you also have choices. Again, you can just let it do its own thing, or seek help. I can neither confirm nor deny the efficacy of such products as Rogaine and other substances that claim to restore hair growth, but I have heard that some do work for some men. My advice would be to ask someone who has tried it or discuss it with a physician (preferably a bald one) before investing in a supply. There are also implants (plugs) which are both expensive and painful, the fooling-nobody comb-over, and the ever-popular (but seldom flattering) toupee to consider.

However your noggin looks in your photo, for heaven’s sake, don’t change it when meeting someone. Confusion should never be part of that important first date.